6 months!

This is the email I received on Monday.
 

HI MOM :)

So brace yourself because I am not going to be able to write a lot today.  We just came in to send President our emails and then we have to get back to work.  I will write on Wednesday though.  That is when we could get a member to take us to the temple.  When we visit the temple we just have our Preparation Day on the day the visit is.  I love you! Talk to you then :)

Elder Bagley

Okay, so I patiently waited for Wednesday to come...alright not so patiently.  This is the email I received today.

 

Buenas Madre :)

So great to hear from you. Sorry it is a little delayed. It is hard for me too.

Good to hear about how great things are at home!  I am always glad to hear about people reading the blog and what not.  I hope I can live up to the expectations.  So crazy to think I have 6 months in the field when I just got off the plane yesterday.  Time truly is flying by.  I am glad I have lived my mission without regrets.  It really helps to look forward to the next year and a half!

Alright this week has been a roller coaster!  Thank you so much for all the love with the birthday wishes and cards.  I haven't got your package yet but the Zone Leaders haven't been to the office yet.  I am sure it's all safe.  Getting all the cards made me feel so loved and so happy to see all the support I am blessed with.  I give thanks to everyone!

We didn't get the chance to go to the temple today.  We went but it was closed.  It broke my heart but we should have called before to double check.  That being said I don't know when we can go now.  We'll figure it out.

Things concerning with missionary work are the "roller coaster" part of this week.  We are really working hard but not seeing any results from it.  We broke our record with 215 contacts this week and I will be the first to say that we are getting a lot of practice with contacting people.  Man it’s just grand.  But we just need to work a little bit harder on the "having faith to find" part.  The bad part that comes with talking with more people is receiving more rejection.  It's been a lot of saying "God is still working on that one" and then moving on the next.

Faith has really been on my mind lately.  It's a hard thing to understand.  Part of me wants to say that with faith comes power to do God's will and is God's will not for me to baptize?  Is that not my purpose as a missionary?  Or is my purpose just to try my hardest and gain whatever testimony results from it?  I don't think that’s quite it either.  If I remove my sight from baptism then I lose my purpose as a missionary.  Whether I baptize or not, that is my goal.  That is what I have told God I am going to do.  That is faith to me.  That is being a missionary.  Not just trying to pick up whatever life experience falls around me as I try my hardest but settle with not baptizing.

Something I love that has really stuck with me is a story from Elder Eyring.  He came to a man who asked for a blessing of healing and he asked the man "Do you have the faith to be healed?"  The man replied "Yes of course."  Elder Eyring waited a bit and then said "Do you have the faith not to be healed?"

I have the faith to baptize.  I have 6 months under my belt and I have not found and brought someone into making that first covenant.  That being said my faith and my goal does not change.  I have faith to baptize but I also have faith not to.  I control my action, God controls the miracle.  I will work my hardest to bring souls unto Christ, and who says I have not already, I may never know. But at the end of it all I want to say I had unfailing faith in my God, not that I watched a miracle of baptism happen before my eyes as I stood faithlessly idle.  Faith is hard.  And I am learning about it more and more but one thing I do know is how to work.  So that's what I am going to do.  I'm going to work.

Love you Mom.  You are everything.

Elder Bagley

Elder Spears was really thirsty after fasting!

The Cervantez Family bought me a cake! Hermano and I celebrated together.